So I want to publish part 2 to my “The Darkness” blog, but am having issues connecting my small and outdated laptop to the Internet. Hopefully I’ll get it sorted on the weekend. Instead here’s a rant about bread.
Hands up if your parents made you eat your sandwich crusts when you were little. Me too! Usually with the encouragement of “It’ll make your hair go curly”. I had always wanted curly hair when I was very little. So when I grew out of that desire I thought I could one up my parents with the reply of “Well I don’t want curly hair”. Haha! Now I have them! Nope, this attitude was then met with a frustrated and partially angry look, with the response “Just eat your crusts”. Why? Why MUST I eat them? Isn’t it all just bread? Is there some sort of super ingrediant baked only into the crust? Why must the most healthy and important part of the bread be contained solely in the outer layer? It just doesn’t make sense
A change in tactic from the parents occur, “It’ll make you grow big and strong”. Again, why? When inventing bread, what idiot thought “Hey, you know what would be a great idea? Crushing a whole bunch of wheat and flour together till its soft and flat, then putting all our food between the layers. What a convenient way of eating lunch. But most important PUT ALL THE INGREDIENTS THAT PROMOTE GROWTH IN THE OUTER LAYER! That way people will be SURE to eat it!”
The guilting tactic is tried, “There are children starving in Africa you know”. Woe betide the fool who responds with “Well send them to Africa then!”
Why is the “Eating your crust” argument the argument parents try the most to win at? What exactly are we trying to prove? If I can make my child eat their crusts I can make them do anything! Really? Will they really listen to you when you ask them to clean their room, or agree when they’re not allowed to go to that party just because you won the crusts argument? Perhaps it’s just the principle of the matter? Well ok, you go right on arguing then. The only thing I will say is I remember having this argument with my parents many times over the years, and I still don’t eat my crusts.
I have to admit that at work recently an older colleague saw I wasn’t eating my crusts. They made the mistake of remarking upon this. My response was an overly snappy “Because I’m 32 and I don’t have to eat my damn crusts if I don’t want to!” Ok, it sounded funnier at the time. Hopefully I won’t get a complaint for bullying.
In any case, if Stormaggedon doesn’t want to eat his crusts, I know that’s one battle that I don’t particularly care to have, or lose.